Small I, Big Me Part VII                          

Q: Do you believe in gods, deities and fate?  

A: Gods and deities? Maybe, maybe not. Fate? Probably. Some things are pre-destined cannot be changed, no matter how we avoid it.

Q: Pre-destined? Care to elaborate? What makes you have this thinking?
A: Had my palm read at a temple, and said that I would fail math if taken two at the same time. To avoid it, I dropped my A math in sec 4. But of course passed my other math.  Perhaps others may think that why believe in it. That's what I thought too after that. But it really came true when I took two math at the same time in U. Only managed to pass the math that I failed twice when I took it solely.
Q: Are dreams, be it good or bad, virtual or real, to be believe in?  

A: Maybe in the past, I treat dreams as an activity created by active brain. Believe or not, dreams can also be a before-hand symptoms. Just few weeks before my late brother's death, my best friend actually told me that he dreamt of his younger sister jumped from building, and died horribly. Jokingly I said the opposite of dreams is good omen. But nobody expect the opposite of sister is brother, and the jumping is the symptom...


Q: What was your most painful experience?
A: The day when my brother passed away where I had to go and summon his spirit, and requested him to possess onto the clothes we placed on the ground (directly where the bright sun shines on it). I requested twice, but the coins showed the same face. The priest suggested we move the clothes and umbrella behind the sun ray. And indeed, the coins showed head and tail this time. At that

time, my tears rolled like broken dam, thinking, maybe the sun was really too strong for him to get near and possess onto his clothes.

Q: What was your most relieved experience?
When we saw my brother's bones with many colorful-like corals. In Buddhism, it is second to Sharira, a sign that my brother has entered Nirvana. This was further concreted when I got a lot at a temple, which said the autumn is here, and the ship have to leave like migration birds that have to fly off suddenly. But the ship was left with deity's protection, leaving in abundance.
Q: And that is why you believe in fate?
A: Sort of. I only believe part of it before the incident.
I studied my face reading, and it is said that I do not have fate with my siblings. I thought it was only due to my less talking to him, and it turned out to be.... 20 years ago, my 3rd brother left. 20 years later....
Q: Then, what have you gained from this incident?

A:  One does not need to be a vegetarian, or may not necessary burn joss sticks every 1st and 15th of the lunar month. My brother is neither. So, what purpose does it serve to be a vegetarian, when one does not help others, but only keep oneself free from meat and poultry? What purpose does it serve to burn joss sticks, when one pick up quarrel or take advantage of others, once walk out of the temple?